THE "M" FACTOR

By Lisa Johnson, Julie Dickison, Melea Fisher and Natalie Krause

Our Mother turns 80 tomorrow November 14th and we four daughters have gathered to celebrate with her (but, shhh . it's a surprise . she is still in transit and doesn't know we've traveled from across the country)!  Meanwhile, we are lounging on our first day together, still in our PJs and naturally we started to reminisce .

Like most everyone, we think our Mother is pretty indescribable! She has what we like to call, 'the M Factor'.

Mother started life on a 14,000 acre ranch in Montana. Her work ethic was formed and has been more than replicated in all of her girls!

The "M" factor: Complete the job and don't be a half done Polly!
Mother has an intense fear of water, developed as a young girl after her brother tragically drowned. She has worked hard to conquer her fear, and wasn't going to accept it in any of her daughters. Our parents required each of us (there was no discussion) to complete lifeguard certification.

The "M" factor: Don't pass on to your children your own fears.
When Mother became a Christian as a teenager she found her real passion in life and we are forever thankful for the love of Christ she has shared with us. Inscribed in our parents' wedding bands is their personal motto "Each for the other, both for Christ".

The "M" factor: Our marriages must be caught up in a purpose larger than itself.
As we grew into adults, we discovered that our Mother had been a 'cougar' and 'feminist' without even realizing it! She married in 1955 at the age of 26 (considered old at the time) to a 21 year old!
Mother, a nurse, was the primary provider for the family of three once Lisa arrived on the scene, working nights while Daddy finished college.

The "M" Factor: There is no such thing as 'woman's work' or 'man's work'.
When our Daddy started his own business, Mother happily became a stay at home Mom. As each of us grew up, she determined to teach us what she considered were three essential life skills: how to make a quilt, how to cut up a whole chicken, and how to can fresh produce.

The "M" Factor: While we may laugh at these skills now, we have since discovered that what we really gained was the ability to be creative, frugal, and self-sufficient.
Mother was often at the forefront of what would much later be an accepted trend. Before it was popular, we ate unprocessed foods, made our own bread, used environmentally friendly laundry detergents, and took whole food supplements!

The "M" Factor: Don't be afraid to question the 'norm', to lead even if no one is following.
Our greatest joy has been to be present while our parents have achieved some of their dreams. Mother always wanted to live in Australia, and the opportunity presented itself when she was 55 years old!
They didn't hesitate to take the risk.

The "M" Factor: Dreams come true only as you work towards them.
Retirement for Mother has yet to happen. She still runs a business with our Daddy, providing endless nutritional advice. At the age of 70, she took a class to conquer the Internet and Power Point. At age 79 she was introduced to Facebook and keeps in touch with her grandchildren and is considering whether she should start a blog!

The "M" Factor: Learning never stops.
We admire our Mother for everything she has taught us. For all that makes her who she is .

The "M" factor: our model, our mentor, and best of all, our Mother.

Happy 80th Birthday Mother, we love you!

Your Darling Daughters,
Julie, Lisa, Natalie and Melea

Beatitudes For Parents

Blessed are those parents who make their peace with spilled milk and mud, for of such is the kingdom of childhood.

Blessed is the parent who engages not in the comparison of his child with others, for precious unto each is the rhythm of his own growth.

Blessed are the fathers and mothers who have learned laughter, for it is the music of the child's world.

Blessed and wise are those parents who understand the goodness of time, for they make it not a sword that kills growth but a shield to protect.

Blessed and mature are they who without anger can say "no," for comforting to the child is the security of firm decisions.

Blessed is the gift of consistency, for it is heart's-ease in childhood.

Blessed are they who accept the awkwardness of growth, for they are aware of the choice between marred furnishings and damaged personalities.

Blessed are the teachable, for knowledge brings understanding, and understanding brings love.

Blessed are the men and women who in the midst of the unpromising mundane, give love, for they bestow the greatest of all gifts to each other, to their children, and -- in an ever-widening circle -- to their fellow men.

Blessed are those who read these words...but more blessed will be they who follow them!

By Marion E. Kinneman (1895-1985)

When Home is Broken, Heart is Broken...

When faced with the breakup of her parents' marriage, a hurting teenager named Kimberly used the following word picture in this letter to her father, Steve:

Dear Daddy,
It's late at night, and I'm sitting in the middle of my bed writing to you.
I've wanted to talk with you so many times during the past few weeks.
But there never seems to be any time when we're alone.

Dad, I realize you're dating someone else. And I know you and Mom may never get back together.
That's terribly hard to accept - especially knowing that you may never come back home or be an "everyday" dad to me and Brian again. But I want you at least to understand what's going on in our lives.

Don't think that Mom asked me to write this. She didn't. She doesn't know I'm writing, and neither does Brian.
I just want to share with you what I've been thinking. Dad, I feel like our family has been riding in a nice car for a long time.
You know, the kind you always like to have as a company car.
It's the kind that has every extra inside and not a scratch on the outside.

But over the years, the car has developed some problems. It's smoking a lot, the wheels wobble, and the seat covers are ripped.
The car's been really hard to drive or ride in because of all the shaking and squeaking.
But its still a great automobile - or at least it could be. With a little work, I know it could run for years.

Since we got the car, Brian and I have been in the backseat while you and Mom have been up front.
We feel really secure with you driving and Mom beside you. But last month. Mom was at the wheel.

It was night time, and we had just turned the comer near our house. Suddenly, we all looked up and saw another car, out of control, heading straight for us. Mom tried to swerve out of the way, but the other car smashed into us.
The impact sent us flying off the road and crashing into a lamppost.

The thing is, Dad, just before we were hit, we could see that you were driving the other car.
And we saw something else: Sitting next to you was another woman.

It was such a terrible accident that we were all rushed to the emergency ward.
But when we asked where you were, no one knew.
We're still not really sure where you are or if you were hurt or if you need help.

Mom was really hurt. She was thrown into the steering wheel and broke several ribs.
One of them punctured her lungs and almost pierced her heart.

When the car wrecked, the back door smashed into Brian.
He was covered with cuts from the broken glass, and he shattered his arm, which is now in a cast.
But that's not the worst.
He's sail in so much pain and shock that he doesn't want to talk or play with anyone.

As for me, I was thrown from the car.
I was stuck out in the cold for a long time with my right leg broken.
As I lay there, I couldn't move and didn't know what was wrong with Mom and Brian.
I was hurting so much myself that I couldn't help them.

There have been times since that night when I wondered if any of us would make it.
Even though we're getting a little better, were all still in the hospital.
The doctors say I'll need a lot of therapy on my leg, and I know they can help me get better.
But I wish it were you who was helping me, instead of them.

The pain is so bad, but what's even worse is that we all miss you so much.
Every day we wait to see if you're going, to visit us in the hospital, and every day you don't come.
I know its over. But my heart would explode with joy if somehow I could look up and see you walk into my room.

At night when the hospital is really quiet, they push Brian and me into Mom's room, and we all talk about you.
We talk about how much we loved driving with you and how we wish you were with us now.

Are you all right? Are you hurting from the wreck? Do you need us like we need you? If you need me, I'm here and I love you.

Your daughter,
Kimberly

(A few days after receiving Kimberly's letter, Steve appeared on his family's doorstep and asked to come back. :o)

Source: Night Light: A Devotional for Couples, By Dobson, James C.; Dobson, Shirley Published by Multnomah Pub (September 1, 2000), ISBN: 1576736741, http://isbn.nu/1576736741

I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him.
-By Booker T. Washington

A Parable of A Child

There is a difference between education and experience. Education is what you get from reading the small print. Experience is what you get from not reading it!

But isn't it true that great learning comes from both education and experience?
Let me tell you a parable:

A young school teacher had a dream that an angel appeared to him and said, "You will be given a child who will grow up to become a world leader. How will you prepare her so that she will realize her intelligence, grow in confidence, develop both her assertiveness and sensitivity, be open-minded, yet strong in character? In short, what kind of education will you provide that she can become one of the world's truly GREAT leaders?"

The young teacher awoke in a cold sweat. It had never occurred to him before
-- any ONE of his present or future students could be the person described in his dream. Was he preparing them to rise to ANY POSITION to which they may aspire? He thought, 'How might my teaching change if I KNEW that one of my students were this person?' He gradually began to formulate a plan in his mind.

This student would need experience as well as instruction. She would need to know how to solve problems of various kinds. She would need to grow in character as well as knowledge. She would need self-assurance as well as the ability to listen well and work with others. She would need to understand and appreciate the past, yet feel optimistic about the future. She would need to know the value of lifelong learning in order to keep a curious and active mind. She would need to grow in understanding of others and become a student of the spirit. She would need to set high standards for herself and learn self discipline, yet she would also need love and encouragement, that she might be filled with love and goodness.

His teaching changed. Every young person who walked through his classroom became, for him, a future world leader. He saw each one, not as they were, but as they could be. He expected the best from his students, yet tempered it with compassion. He taught each one as if the future of the world depended on his instruction.

After many years, a woman he knew rose to a position of world prominence. He realized that she must surely have been the girl described in his dream. Only she was not one of his students, but rather his daughter. For of all the various teachers in her life, her father was the best.

I've heard it said that "Children are living messages we send to a time and place we will never see." But this isn't simply a parable about an unnamed school teacher. It is a parable about you and me -- whether or not we are parents or even teachers.

Steve Goodier is the editor of The Life Support System, a motivational e-newsletter delivered daily to 85,000 subscribers in over 100 nations. His inspirational newsletter and books are available through his website at http://www.lifesupportsystem.com